The Republican hold on the U.S. Senate is under threat and President Donald Trump’s niece Mary Trump and “Left Hook” podcaster Wajahat Ali are demanding hard proof of life.
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“The man is dead and no one is talking about it and I’m sitting here feeling like am I crazy?” demanded Ali. “[Sen.] Mitch McConnell (R-Kent.) is dead. His wife — who most likely looks like she’s a Chinese spy — has gone back to the homeland. His daughter deactivates her Twitter account. I’m, like, clearly this man is dead and Democrats are like ‘this is not main news’. Where’s Mitch McConnell? No one wants to ask this? Am I crazy, Mary?”
Mary Trump, a frequent critic of her uncle ave beat the issue into the ground had roles been reversed.
“A Republican senator has disappeared for three weeks. We know he’s in a hospital. We hear from one of the most vile people on the planet, who’s a Republican insider, that Mitch McConnell is indeed brain dead,” raged Trump. “His wife flew off to China three days after he collapsed and needed CPR … we know that she is she’s having meetings with the people in the upper echelons of the Chinese government … his wife is a billionaire shipping magnet from China and they are they just going to keep him on life support until the election so the Republicans don’t have to deal with a special election? If Democrats did this — like, Republicans are still talking about Joe Biden’s [age], for god’s sake.”
Republicans in Congress have largely remained quiet on suspicions surrounding former Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s health, with one heavily MAGA-aligned senator this week claiming Republicans “are ALL in on it together.”
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“Let’s just say, God forbid, Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer dies. Like, literally he’s dead and everyone knows that he’s dead and the Republicans find out that he’s dead but the Democrats are hiding his death from the American public by keeping his Weekend at Bernie’s corpse somewhere just to delay … an election where someone might replace him, what would Republicans do, Mary?”
“They would lose their minds and they would go scorched earth,” Trump confirmed.
“Mitch McConnell is most likely dead,” Ali repeated, seemingly fascinated by the prospect of it. “Let me just listen to the words coming out of my mouth: Mitch McConnell — one of the former leaders of the Republican Party and a sitting senator — is most likely dead. He’s dead. Right now his corpse is [laying] somewhere and the Republican party is like ‘la la la la la la la, what Mitch McConnell?’ They’re literally Weekend and Bernie-ing” Mitch McConnell and the Democratic Party is like ‘let’s go kill progressives! That’s our job! Our job on Twitter is to beat up progressives.’”
McConnell became infamous as majority leader for his brute-force tactics to stonewall Democratic legislative goals, which included blocking an Obama appointee upon false grounds that McConnel utterly ignored after President Donald Trump took office.
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